Last night was one of those vaguely chaotic evenings which can only happen when completely unplanned. At four o’clock I had coffee with the Up and Coming Lyric Soprano. She is one of the few female singers I know who doesn’t make me want to punch her on a regular basis. She mentioned in passing that she was tossing up whether to go to the opening night of Ariadne auf Naxos at the Royal Opera. Straight away my ears pricked up. ‘Can you get me a ticket?!’ I asked with mounting excitement. Turns out, she could get two! So I called up The Boyfriend and told him we were going to the opera. Then I realised I was in black slacks and a blue t-shirt. Not on, not for Royal Opera and not for opening night. So after a seriously rushed bite at the local KFC we went to Royal Opera via FOUR clothes shops looking for a jacket/blazer which will fit my broad shoulders but not cut me off at the waist. The only thing we found was in French Connection, an absolutely fantastic jacket which fits a dream. It also fit the price tag of £130 quid, but it is black and will go with everything and is therefore a worthwhile investment yes?
Right, the opera. This is a revival of a 2002 production which is known to be tres chic. It is also famous for being at the centre of the 2004 ‘little black dress scandal’ in which soprano Deborah Voigt, the leading ‘Ariadne’ of the millenium was fired from the production because it was felt she would look ridiculous in the ‘little black dress’ which serves as the main costume. Had I been the director the answer would have been simple:
“Get another f&*king dress…this woman’s voice is a gift from God!”
But no. She was fired. For the record, this is what she looked like at the time (see left) .She then proceeded drastically and had gastric bypass surgery. Now she looks like this (see right).
Good for her, right? So when the Royal Opera called her and asked her BACK (now that she fits into the required costume…is this as stupid as it sounds…yes!) and she said ‘yes’. My own response to this invitation would have been unprintable, but I guess I carry more of a grudge than she does. So the whole house was on tenderhooks, to see the dress, to hear the voice, and if it was still in the same condition as it had been prior to the weight loss. Drastic size change can have adverse effects (see, Maria Callas) and this is very drastic. Meanwhile all I can think about is that there’s been all this stupid fuss over a black dress and I just spent an hour running from shop to shop trying to find a black coat which I can fit into. In H and M, I asked the skinny bitch behind the counter if there were any jackets which aren’t ’slim fit’. She smirked and said:
‘no, we don’t make them anymore’.
This was, of course, code for:
‘Get out of our shop, you obscene hephalump’.
Never mind, French Connection people were lovely and helpful. Particularly after I left my Visa in there and ran back to get it. The production is deeply elegant. The opera is one about opera. The prologue shows us a composer backstage at the premiere of his new opera ‘Ariadne’, being told that to save time, a cabaret act which was to follow his opera will be performed at the same time as his opera, so he had better do some editing. The ‘opera’ which follows is half Grand Opera (Ariadne lamenting the abandonment of Theseus) and half commedia dell’arte clowning by the cabaret troupe. Not a whole lot of plot, and this is the problem. The music is extraordinary, but not thrilling, the plot thin, hard to grab onto.
The Prologue (40 minutes) is far more compelling than the ‘opera’ by virtue of the fact that lots is happening, and we have the wonderfully human character of the Composer, concerned that his High Art is being sullied. The role is written for a woman (Strauss really didn’t like the male voice did he…) and Kristine Jepson sounded wonderful. She can also act and knows how to move on stage. These male roles written for women are very high, but they do insist on casting mezzo-sopranos, and she coped well (who can compete with sopranos like Teresa Stratas & Julia Varady?!) although someone should let her know that there are sections of the score which are not marked forte.
As the Music Master, veteran Thomas Allen showed up everyone in the show, his voice still (somehow) in perfect condition, his musicianship faultless and his acting mesmerising. Is this man the Energiser-Bunny of opera? As the cabaret-operetta sexpot, Canadian Gillian Keith got around all the (savagely difficult) notes of Zerbinetta, sounded gorgeous, looked edible and knows how to work an audience. A well deserved volley of applause and shouting followed her (interminable and nastily written) aria. Problem is, it all sounds the same.
BUT it was Voigt peoplehad come to hear. She stole the show in the Prologue, as the bitchy Prima Donna. At the moment the major domo announced that the opera (HER opera) would be performed in tandem with slapstick and sexual innuendo, she did a double take in three sections which most people missed, but I will never forget. She sings very little in the Prologue, the Opera is where she dominates.
The Interval was to be 40 minutes but was 50, due to ‘technical difficulties’. For a problematic piece like this, a long interval is a bad idea ANYWAY. Ten minutes into the Opera (70 minutes long) I thought the ‘technical difficulties’ were with her. Her first aria was atrociously sung, cringe worthy at times. One could feel the audience’s toes curling. High notes barely hit, middle register thing and curdled. Then, in her second, she audibly relaxed (the low G on ‘Totenreich’ was one of the finest sounds I have ever heard in my life) , and by the second half (which is basically one long duet) she was glorious, filling the Royal Opera House with thick, rich sound. Tenor Robert Dean Smith sang the role of Bacchus which is both unrewarding AND impossible to sing. Given these circumstances he coped brilliantly, without ever actually making music out of it. I hold Strauss responsible for most of this, as the music GIVEN this character is at best bland. In the pit, the recently knighted Sir Mark Elder led the diminished Royal Opera Orchestra (the opera is scored for 35 players only) in a wonderful performance. This really is a musician’s opera, and they obviously love playing it. What I found most fun was having the role of the speaking role of Major Domo (who brings the increasingly distressing reports of bad news to the composer in the Prologue) was played by Alexander Pereira, real life director of the Zurich Opera, Zurich Festival, and various other high-end arts management positions. He was wonderful, and VERY funny. The Boyfriend didn’t care for it much, the lack of plot being a key element in his thinking. But the other quibble is one I also take issue with. At the end of the Prologue, the people who are about to ‘go on’ and perform the Opera/Burlesque do so, in their costumes. After the interval, where we are supposed to SEE this Opera/Burleseque, they are all wearing completely different costumes. In fact, the two halves seem to have little if anything to do with each other. Almost as if we saw the Opera section from a completely different production. Aesthetically it was beyond compare, a model of stage design and elegance…just didn’t seem to have anything to do with what we had seen before the (long long long) interval. Still, they keep reviving this production so I guess more people love it than don’t. It will never be in the ABCs (Aida, Boheme, Carmen) category, but this piece has the potential to captivate. Maybe this production is a little too clever for its own good?
